Happy people don’t try for happy. They don’t look for it. Happy people become happy as a sidenote to living their life the best way they can. Chronically unhappy people seem to want to fix their unhappiness and in doing so miss the mark all together. Happiness can’t be chased. It can’t be found.
It can’t be grasped. It happens, when everything else falls into place.
You can’t fix unhappiness, unless you fix your inner dormant self. Wake up inside and make some changes. Happiness is grossly related to our actions, our choices and ultimately our thoughts. You can feel happy only as much as your mind will allow you. Fix your thoughts. Stretch your mind. Stretch your capacity to feel better.
Here are 10 common things chronically unhappy people do and how they can heal their life.
1. They subscribe to fatalistic views of life.
Unhappy people quickly conclude the finality of something being impossible before giving it a chance for hope. “People can’t change.” “That is not fixable.” “You are finished.” These types of belief systems are self-limiting. They all happen to be fear driven. They keep you from trying alternatives, testing new ways, finding workarounds, solving problems. This kind of thinking holds people back from their actual potential.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius
A closed mind cannot problem solve effectively. So to be happy throw aboard all you fatalistic believes and start being open-minded instead, thinking positive.
2. They stay stuck. They’re averse to change.
I get it. People need a break from the hustle of life, they throw the towel in, and e.g. eat more, exercise less. This is the time in their life when they become a spectator instead of a participant in life. Change means work, it means pain. It means getting out of the comfort zone. It means losing control a little bit.
Still, it’s important to practice change, feeling fear and overcoming it – because that’s where happiness starts shining through. It happens when you aren’t focused on finding happiness, but focused instead on overcoming a fear. The evolution and growth of a person is where personal satisfaction and accomplishment breeds happiness. Without personal development we are expecting happiness to come without having done the work. Unhappiness is a symptom of arrested development. So get active and take your life in your own hands.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
3. They don’t try enough.
Being unhappy is the same as giving up. It’s a choice you make every day to not try at something. We need to try new habits, try new relationships, try new activities, try new foods, try new knowledge. We need to keep trying to find ourselves at every stage of our lives. We need to try to be our best person. We need to try to serve.
Happiness is finding your passion. Your passion is the thing that you love so much that it causes you pain. Unhappy people quit too early. They don’t give themselves credit and quit before the glory. When we know what we’re made of, it give us confidence to try more often.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
4. They self deprecate.
They’re quick to quip, “I am such an idiot.” Or “I am terrible person.” You’ve got to be good to yourself and it starts by quitting the self inflicted verbal abuse. Happiness is derived from confidence and that inner belief in ourselves. You can’t be happy if you don’t love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, people can sense it and won’t want to love you either. Project outwards what you want projecting inwards.
“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. MilneYour disposition is a product of your thoughts, how you treat yourself and how you nourish yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love.
5. They read, watch, hear dark and depressing things.
Something as simple as the news, is inherently depressing. It’s easy to get to a place where you want to hear the doom and gloom about the world and other people. We program ourselves to believe that our lives are better compared to the horror stories we hear. The problem is that we’re polluting our mind to attract those very things in our lives. Sad love songs are nice but do the songs you listen to correlate with the state of your relationships? What would happen if we exposed ourselves to funny, happy things?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln
Change your mindset. Decide how you want to feel and immerse yourself in a culture more happy.
